2023 Spring League Predictions

Aeschylus wrote that fore-knowledge is fore-sorrow. So, please stop here to maintain your blissful ignorance. Despite not knowing who the majority of the people in the draft are, what follows is a highly accurate, definitive ranking of the draft and prediction for end of season tournament results:

6. Jess and Nathan: Someone has to be last, but, honestly, this looks like a strong, well-rounded team. I thought the draft was overall even and I think the records for teams 3-6 will likely be very close.

Biggest Strengths: Fast, skilled women. Nathan Schaller layouts. World Champion Ted Kubisek.

Biggest Weaknesses: Brad’s knees. Sam Martocci missing games for spike ball. Will likely ignore the excellent advice of World Champion Ted Kubisek.

5. Asa and Devon: Another strong, well-rounded team. With Matt Henry taken late, they will likely finish better than 5th in the regular season but will miss him in the tournament. A reminder that we should all consider our priorities. Some things are more important than missions to Guatemala, Matt.

Biggest Strengths: Fast, skilled women, h-stack handling, zone defense. Solid mix of chill and competitive vibes.

Biggest Weaknesses: Person defense in the tournament. The siren song of Guatemala.

4. Joe and Billy: The most powerful power couple in the draft also made the most early round picks that I have no clue about. As the youngest team in the draft by far, they also have the most room to improve through the season.

Biggest Strengths: Person defense. Youthful exuberance.

Biggest Weaknesses: Unforced turns. Zone offense. Renting cars.

3. Jeff and Clyde: A well rounded team that includes the incomparable Sam Lovelace and not one but two Danny Gs who were steals at their draft positions.

Biggest Strengths: Big play making ability. Big pretty flick hucks. As commissioner, Jeff could always just declare them the winners.

Biggest Weaknesses: Backhand force. Unforced turns on big plays. Mrs. Roseman’s wrath when she realizes Jeff didn’t draft her.

2. Zach and Michelle: Defending champions sporting a roster loaded with nationals (and worlds) level experience in the first few rounds. I assume Zach knew who all the other people I don’t recognize are and drafted them way later than they should have gone as well. They drafted some good players late that will miss the tournament, so I think they are likely a lock for the regular season even though they won’t come out on top in the tournament.

Biggest Strengths: Best 2 women handlers (and women in general). Zach tries very hard, the most important and underrated predictor of league success.

Biggest Weaknesses: Playing person defense. Playing against trap zone defense. I hear Michelle won’t play more than half the points of any game and Shea even bet $50 on it.

1. Bonnie and Ben: I believe Ben Franklin said, “…in this world, nothing is certain except death and taxes, and Jim Davis winning Gainesville ultimate league.”

Biggest Strengths: Jim Davis

Biggest Weaknesses: NA

2 thoughts on “2023 Spring League Predictions

  1. Good predictions! I agree with most of the analysis but am a bit higher on Asa and Devon I’d put them top 3. I think Zach has a strong chance to 2peat, I might even put money on it.

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