Hello Neighbors,
It seems that the winter league draft has finally happened and as is usually the case with winter leagues, the monster known as shallow draft pool has once again reared its ugly head. Thankfully, it seems the ladies are the deeper of the sexes for this league which is always an ABSOLUTE delight to see for the sport so we’ve got that going for us. Now, come take a seat around the metaphorical campfire and let Mr. Rogers give you the lowdown for who won (and lost) the 2022 Winter League Draft!
Tonight’s Biggest Loser:
Lime Shock:
Lets get one thing straight from the beginning here, if I could be on any team it would be this team because simply because of how badass a color name like LIME SHOCK is. That, and the two captains are quite literally two of the nicest and genuine human beings you are ever going to me. Unfortunately, the pros stop there. Guys, I get that it’s a pretty roughly draft pool and it’s a winter league but come on, it looks like the Fresca from the last few seasons drafted this team. The average age of this team is probably like 35, and while Hot n Sweaty/Wolly has proven that average doesn’t equal a bad team, you guys are missing the guy ingredients that make that concoction work I.E. The DePauls, Jill, KJ, etc. Ben and Bonnie are awesome players but forcing them to be the “top” players for your team is just mean. Think about the children! But actually, their kids are obviously priority which means both of them can rarely take the field simultaneously. McGrane is always a wildcard and will ensure that this team has a great time, and his totally awesome girlfriend is always peppy. The question is, will they be able to equalize the grumpy old men energy that Darnell and Skool bring to the team? Mr. Rogers isn’t sure. The good news though is that if there is ever a windy game, you guys should actually be able to pull out a win since raw athleticism won’t be a factor. I’ve heard Kay is an up-and-comer for FUEL so hopefully she can help carry you guys to some more wins.
Overall: don’t expect this team to make a lot of noise.
If You Ain’t Last, You’re Probably Second Last:
Heather Blue:
Good news to everyone on this team; you, without a doubt, have the two coolest and most down to Earth captains this season! The other good news is that everyone on this team is similar to your captains so they won’t get too mad when you guys get your teeth kicked in! The bad news is, you’re probably gonna get your teeth kicked in and not win as many games as other team. The WORST news is that Jeff is no longer the sole owner of the Coolest Cooler. RIP to the adult strawberry daquiris at the fields ☹. As someone who loves league like his own child, Mr. Rogers is bummed to see Alek officially be a 1st rounder. Gone are the days where he was a forever 2nd rounder, even when he feasibly should have been a 3rd rounder. At least he’ll have the comradery of his best bud Schimmelfig, the Rose man, and Tommy. Look for JT to be a workhorse per usual and Matya to be behind the disc with her hard-earned handler skills. It’s nice to see Lyle and Bari back at it.
Overall: This team will have fun and win a few games, but don’t expect them to make a deep run in the playoffs unless the other team is missing their top players.
Ladies and Gentleman, We’ve Got a Tied Game!:
Red/Purple:
Folks, this one was just too difficult to choose between. Both Purple and Red have their pros and cons. Mr. Rogers is convinced that if these teams were to play 10 times the result would be 5-5. So lets break down each team’s positives and negatives:
Red Pros:
First off, Fresca, being a solo captain when all the other teams have 2 is never easy logistically, so props for that. The second thing I want to say is that you drafted a pretty solid team that’s gonna do alright. After the last 3ish seasons of drafting arguably some of the worst league teams I’ve ever seen, I think you have figured at the right combination of fun team mixed with team that’s actually going to kick some ass. Fun teams are great but anyone who says they are having fun while they are perpetually losing is flat out lying. This lady core is going to determine whether or not Red loses or wins, plain and simple. For the men, they have the support of Speedy who isn’t quite are agile as he used to be, but with age comes wisdom so expect that experience to make up for the lack of athleticism. By the way, WHERE IS SAM?! SAM ISN’T PLAYING WITH HIS WONDERFUL WIFE?! Rumor has it he’s playing in the Jax friz league though… Anyway, Clyde is a sleep pick and great with the disc in his hands. Joe is always a solid pick and my boy Zak is an all-around player. This team will be able to move the disc without a problem so long as their cutters make smart moves.
Red Cons:
Full disclosure, I have no idea who Carsten is. For Red’s sake I hope he’s some super athlete because otherwise, Red has none. There is no super star on this team. They are mediocre through and through. Nes is legitimately the best player on the team, but she sadly can’t do it all. She’s just one (AMAZING) woman afterall. With that said, I’d personally have a team full of 15 average players than a team with 2 stellar players and 13 terrible players.
Purple Pros:
Here we see the first instance of why drafting women first has historically not worked. The pairs make hell for when it gets to the men categories. Colverson was a first rounder but then you add Zach to the equation and suddenly you have without a doubt the most dynamic pair of male handlers in the league. What’s that you say? Michelle is playing too? Oh, welp, sorry everyone else. With those 3 behind the disc that frees everyone else up to run around in circles downfield with their heads’ in their shorts while the Floversons (holy balls that’s a great combo name for frisbee) move the disc up the field with a handler weave. Add in the grit that Jess, Evan, and Jon bring to the team and you’ve got a pretty rock solid squad.
Purple Cons:
The short end of it is, if Will and Max are leading the turnover stats, you’re gonna lose every. Single. Game. The good news is that Zach hasn’t gotten so soft that he’s going to let that happen unless Evan and Aaron dip into their “It’s league bro chill,” mentality.
Overall:
If I had to pick a winner between these two, I’d pick Purple just because of the sheer handle combo they have, but I think if Red uses their wits and plays smart defense they can take them out. Either way, look for both of these teams to be in the semis and to put up a fight against their opponents.
I Gotcha a Dollar:
Black:
*Insert State Farm Gotcha a Dollar Commercial*. Man, you guys almost did it. You almost managed to get to that oasis in the desert that is the slim pickings of winter league. With Jiggins stepping back into the fray and pair with her sexy stud Steven, you guys were so close to being the top dog. Asa as your second rounder?! Are you kidding me?! Have people forget what a badass Asa is?! Jenny as a THIRD rounder??? Seems to me the people running the show have officially lost their marbles to the kid down the street. BuT JeNNy iS HuRT sO ShE CAn bE a ThiRD RoUnDeR. Please. With the leadership of league no longer have the regular season in any serious capacity you guys are failing to see the big picture: Jenny is gonna be healthy around halfway through the season (fingers crossed!) and will be back to kick your asses for the games that matter in the playoffs. Then we have the men. Frat Ross has come into his own as a grinder and handler who has a near 0% turnover rate. Steven, well, we all know what Steven is capable of. For those who don’t know, the answer is really good throws both long and short. Matt Henry might not be similar in stature to the legend Adam Carr but the try hard levels and niceness are on par. Add in the random appearances from Janelle and the consistency of Baumer and you’ve got as solid of a squad as any.
Overall:
This team is going to do well. If they have everyone show up healthy they are going to beat almost every team. Expect them to be in the finals.
How the Actual F%^&:
White:
Guys. Guys. We have got to stop allowing teams like this to become a thing. Shea, you magnificent bastard, you managed to get a team together that is reminiscent of your Gold team. Let’s hope, for everyone else’s sake, that this team ends up not coming to fruition like that team did (although hopefully not through injuries or anything). This team is stupidly stacked. We’ll stat with Josh Barker. This man has crawled his way up into the upper echelon of league and for good reason. Look at the top 12 players on the draft board and try to name one other person that is going to layout even once, then picture Barker laying out roughly 5 times a game on O/D. Luckily for everyone else, he still doesn’t have any idea how to play actual defense and is just relying on raw athleticism and grit to get by. Now onto Dustin. Short and sweet here; Dustin is one of the top handlers in the STATE OF FLORIDA and has the highest frisbee IQ of any person I’ve ever met. Next we have Kate AKA, quite possibly the best women’s player to EVER come out of Florida. I’m gonna be honest with you all, Mr. Rogers only knows limited info about the other ladies on this team. I know that Lucia is getting better constantly and that Lex and Jenna are no push-overs, but they’re going to have a blast play with Kate because they will never be guarded by the best girl on other teams because those people will be too busy try (and failing) to chase Kate around. What’s more, I got bad news everyone: Ethan, that cutie stud muffin of a son Kate and Dustin have, is old enough that they don’t have to take turns watching him on the sidelines if they don’t want to, which means they can play at the same time. Have fun stopping the Dustin to Kate huckfest!
Honestly, I feel like I don’t really need to point out too much else but…hold on. This can’t be right. YOU GUYS LET PATRICK GETTINO GO 4TH ROUND?! ON A TEAM WITH KATE AND DUSTIN?! People just don’t know how to draft these days. For those who don’t know, back when stats were actually kept up with at league, Pat was constantly in the top 3, and usually on top of the defense leaderboards. He also was a key member of the defense at UF for their college team. Bhagya, I was going to make a thing about you too but I’m just going to end with these two things: Unmil’s little brother who is going to be better than Unmil someday, and he’s way better than Max (sorry not sorry Max).
Overall:
I’ll shotgun a Fourloco if this team doesn’t win league. Captains, you guys have no one to blame but yourselves for letting this happen, especially since it wouldn’t have happened if you did a normal draft. But hey, hopefully Dustin will miss for Cannons and Pat will be too hungover to play to his best.
Closing Statements:
No matter what kind of picture I have painted in the article above, I am super happy to say that I don’t see a single team not having a blast this season, and in the end, that’s what it’s all about. Also, for the record, I was wrong last season so who knows! I wish all of you the best of times! May your disc fly true and may you all indulge in the comradery that is Gainesville Ultimate. Enjoy it because you’ll miss it when it’s gone!
Until next time Neighbors,
Mr. Rogers
Josh Barker is criminally underrated. Anybody at last seasons championship knows Josh is a top player. He has speed, stamina, layouts, throws, and, most importantly, relentless effort.
It’s quite possible that Dustin and Josh Barker are the #1 and #2 men in league and we know Kate is the top woman by far.
If slotted as a first round pick, Josh should not have been allowed to take a Kate/Dustin pair. If he was slotted as a 2nd rounder, the captains have failed us. I don’t know which competitive-balance mechanism failed here, but I call for a REDRAFT!
Have a meeting with Josh Barker, tell him first round captains don’t get to draft Dustin. They never have.
League is meant to be a fun and competitive. Now 5 out of 6 teams are showing up without a shot at that beautiful golden trophy. A snake draft is meant to ensure relatively even teams. The captains at the draft were the ones with the power and responsibility to maintain a level playing field and they failed.
REDRAFT on account of captain negligence!!!!!!! Bring competitive spirit back to Gainesville ultimate! If we can’t have a re-draft we should hear from every captain on why they allowed this and why they passed on Patrick Gettino for 3 rounds!
At least let’s have some fun drama about it.
Real ranks. Time is short and words are wind so I’ll keep it brief:
6) Red: I don’t know who any of you are but I know Fresca drafted you
5-3 are close
5) Black: I’ll give you a bump if Janelle is actually playing. I hear it’s forbidden!
4) Lime: Lots of consistent, experienced players. If you never turn over the disc, you don’t have to play defense. If you turn it over, god help you. I would draft your entire team in the 3rd to 6th rounds.
3) I don’t know if you’re better than lime and black, but I bet your talent shows up better from week to week.
2) Purple: Michelle is an early first round pick and came with Zach, so with Aaron you have two guys better than most of the first round guys as well. Dunno how you negotiated that but congrats.
1) White: Ridiculous. See purple, swap some names and include Dustin, who I hear is a professional playing against amateurs. Shame.