Good evening folks, welcome to this issue of the Green Thumb, your one stop shop for all Gang Green-related content. Niche content admittedly, but with a surprisingly loyal fanbase. Aaaaanyway, when Gang Green arrived on the scene, there were clouds gathering, as if their toxicity was bringing out the worst in the sky. But there was no lightning (ish?) so we were good! The sky instead was just trying to tamp down our toxicity with a diluting shower of good ole H20. But Green didn’t let that get them down. We were there, spirits were high, and we were ready to get about that Ultimate business we like to do.
We were especially excited to have a Christmas game rematch with the one, the only…R.E.D., sometimes known as the Radically Enhanced Denizens. Legend has it their souls are bound to Citizens Field and their bodies constructed from the blood that drips from all the cuts, scrapes and the occasional bloody nose of the GNV Ulty of old. With each passing season, their power has grown and this season is the culmination of their might, allowing them to make their grand return to the mortal plane. The ancient past vs the present, the immortal against mere flesh and blood, the Denizens of Citizens vs a Gang of Greens.
As RED had been our worst defeat this season, we were ready to give it another go. Although missing many of our dear fellow Greens (Ben Stone, Logan, Hunter, Judah, and Wyly, RIP), we were still ready to get out there and show RED that poison thrives in the rain and mud.
As before, we started out surprisingly even-ish given Red’s generally OP lineup (if you see going down 3-0, then making it 3-2 as “even”). Several drops, turns, and bad throws from Red gave us a good number of second chances and break opportunities. We managed to keep the game within a couple of points, even putting up a break to keep it a one-break game. Unfortunately, an equal (or greater…) number of drops, turns, and bad throws from Green (including a dropped pull by yours truly…RIP me…now I know how it feels) kept us from gaining any sort of momentum. By their 6th point, Red managed to build some consistency, smashing in a hold and two breaks to take half. We continued to struggle bus through the alternating rain and blinding sun. However, we still managed to hang close (ish?), adding another break after half until we were only down 10-7, but then a slew of relentless Red breaks burst our D-line dam, eventually leaving us at 15-9 and starting our new grand journey to a 5th place victory (definitely gonna happen, totally, 100%, just wait).
As the Frisbee Goblin predicted not too long ago, we were really hurting from a lack of experienced handlers. This made it more difficult to work around a zone with KJ and Jill in the cup and Jared and Luke hanging out overhead. I was still very proud of how all our handlers composed themselves though and kept up some really good patience in the face of it. Mad props to Caroline, Ani, Tommy, Chris, Tom, and Ryan for all taking time in the handler space and working to find their groove. Also props to anyone and everyone who worked on their huck game, I promise I tried my best to catch them all. And some of them worked! Those were my favorites :D.
I’ll also give a shoutout to Danny Greene, who not only played a great game as a crucial middle cutter and continuation thrower, but also reminded us of the power of love and friendship. It was this inspiration that rallied us to our second break of the game. Unfortunately, this is apparently one of those temporary buffs instead of a permanent effect, so it only lasted one point. Alas, the cooldown time was too great for more regular use. My final shoutouts to Green go to Jason and Ani, who both scored points during this game; Jason with a nasty juke to the front corner of the endzone for a score and Ani catching a bladey forehand while gracefully leaping across the goal line. Both were assisted by The Aforementioned Danny Greene. I suppose the Power of Friendship buff is only a permanent buff on the caster. Well, suppose it’s a good thing he’s on Gang Greene.
On the RED side, although they took some time to coalesce (from the ancient blood that their corporeal forms are made of, of course), they regrouped, pulled on the same side of the rope, and really drove home the points. Huge shoutout to Luke who’s been really putting in the work for his handling and boy is it paying off. He was already a nightmare to guard as a cutter, but his speed and agility are really serving him well in the dozens upon dozens of jukes and short cuts necessary in the handler space. Although it was several of his throws that allowed us break chances, when his throwing catches up with his cutting (it’s like saying get your 90% throws up to your 120% cutting, it’s mostly semantics at that point) he will be a super nightmare, not just your garden variety nightmare. An even more mark-resistant nightmare if you will. If something isn’t done, what if this spreads?? Suddenly marks all over Gainesville won’t be as effective, what happens then??? Who will save us from these super-nightmares on the field???? A quick death from exhaustion for all of us if new more effective marks aren’t found.
In all, RED always plays with speed and precision on offense and patient but unyielding on defense. Those combined is what is going to help them get far in the Final Four. We at Green Thumb Inc. would love to cover their next game against Purple (just Purple), the surprising underdog upset of their game against Teal, but alas, we are contractually obligated to cover Gang Green to the end of their run. This just means we’ll have to hype up 5th place aaaaaa lot. Best place to be really. Who needs the fame and glory of being the top of the top four when you could be the top of the bottom four right? We’ll work on the marketing campaign. With that, I’ll close this issue of the Green Thumb. Next week will be our final broadcast for the season! After that, who knows what might happen. Goodnight all!!!