Good afternoon Gainesville! Welcome to the Undead Ultimate Chronicle! Despite it only being our second publication, we are poised for absolutely monstrous growth. I’m talkin News segments, I’m talkin talk shows, tabloids, a spin-off movie series featuring myself and Dwayne the Rock Johnson taking on the forces of evil…
Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. I still have to talk about this last week of League. Boy what a wild one. The Best Friends got the pleasure of facing off against both Pop Quiz, terror of students across the world, and the Scoober Snacks, trademark treat of our favorite gang of mystery solvers.
We began with Pop Quiz, affectionately referred to as the “Old Geezer” team this season due to the slightly advanced age of some of their members (emphasis on slightly, these peeps young as hell). This has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on their ability to play, possessing both the knowledge of the ages, preternatural field awareness, and a solid, present squad of FMPs.
With a wind making life difficult for everyone (maybe just me, since I’m not a thrower), we began. With nice O and a quick break, Quiz went up 2-0. The Friends rallied, with nice O and a tidy break back. This continued on, each team scoring two at a time until PQ took half, 6-4. After a refreshing halftime, we unfortunately broke the cycle and only scored one more point before getting broken twice, leaving the final score at 9-5.
The BF MVPs for this game are definitely our handler squad. Working the disc upwind against a well experienced zone defense team was no easy task. Especially Ricardo and Chris, who kept the offense alive with their short reset passes. I’ll also give a collective MVP to all our FMPs in attendance. The Pop Quiz FMP line is truly monstrous, and with all 4 in attendance, ran 4-3 lines each time they were in the Gen Zone. Alison, Danae, and Ava had their hands full covering this line, and with little time to rest were definitely were putting in the work to keep them contained.
On the Pop Quiz side, I’ll give the same props to their FMP line. Pop Quiz definitely relied heavily on their FMPs this game, for good reason too: Seven of their nine points were scored between Emory, Liz, and Emily. Other shout-outs to Zach and Jared for sharp eyes on the field followed by laser assists, and Michael Taylor and Pat, rounding out the PQs scoring stats.
We then sallied forth across Field 4 to arrive at Field 3 where the lovable Scoober Snacks had just arrived as well, having just come off a universe win themselves. We netted offense, but failed to win the real victory: jersey color. Alas, the Best Friends were forced to disrobe and flip their jerseys in shame. But they turned the shame to their strength, and scored not one, not two, but three points! Starting the game off at 3-0! What a blistering BFF fusillade! We settled into more of a rhythm, trading points back and forth with the Snacks until we reached 5-3. Then, many unfortunate decisions followed by several unfortunate drops prevented us from taking half for two additional points, allowing the Snacks to come back, tying it up at 5-5.
We finally managed to take half, thinking that this game might look less and less “Rummy” (as Scoobs might say) if we didn’t pull it together. After a few more points in the second half and minutes left till hard cap, we had the chance to break, go up by two and cement our lead in memorium. Unfortunately, our bonds of friendship didn’t hold up to the delicious allure of Scoober Snacks, as they scored to tie it up just as hard cap went off. There was no doubt, it was Universe time. For all the rubles, the bonds of friendship against the bonds of polysaccharides, family vs food, BFFLs vs the unofficial sponsor of Mystery Inc. Who. Would. Win?
Spoiler, we did, but barely. We managed to pull together our offense long enough for a thousand half yard passes to somehow connect and finish in the hands of the great Ben Bobroff in the corner of the end zone to finish the game 8-7. Truly a well and hard fought game for both teams.
In this game, I was really proud of the BFs for the defense. Despite losing our lead in the first half, over half of our team managed to field at least 1 D this game, showing that we really were on it. In terms of offense, I have to say that the MVPs for this game were Danae and Matthew, together scoring half our points. Matthew additionally had what I would wager as one of the sickest bids this season so far (definitely a candidate for Coolest Plays this season). After being slightly overthrown along the right sideline of the endzone, he chased it down, bidding almost under his mark to land fingertips on the disc and holding onto it. Truly a magnificent play.
On the Scoober side, mad props to both Austin and the elusive Dave Klinges, who both played spectacular offense and defense. Dave especially with a massive 50 yard deep cut on a set play that netted a catch followed by a chilly flick to Austin to finish it off. Another player worth mentioning from the Snacks was Savana, who played extremely tight defense all game and prevented us from scoring several points from within the end zone space. Well done Scoobers!
Well, that’s it for this jaunt around the news cemetery. Keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter of GNV Ulty’s favorite news source, the Undead Ultimate Chronicle! And maybe, just maybe, there will be a movie franchise as long winded as the Fast and Furious, that will introduce the Rock five or six movies in… yes, yes. I’m thinking undead themed, and Tommy Akin as Vin Diesel… yessss. And he’ll say: “Real family finds each other beyond the grave”, and “Death’s simple. You just do it and don’t look back”, and “Ask any zombie, and real zombie. It don’t matter if you like brains or guts. Eating’s eating.” Just wait, gonna pitch that to Universal…it’s gonna be huge…
Anyway, bye guuuuyyyysssss