Look Josh Layton is an enigma, a legend, a fantasy that the frisbee God’s couldnt conjure up. The only thing that would make his story better is if he somehow found a way to sucker everyone into letting him fall to a 4th round. Not only does he have the “best luck” ever (according to him) in draft history, and the greatest league player of all time (stats to back it up) he continues to passive aggressively swindle all of league out of their picks, their sympathy, and…. and… i just realized its obvious I may or may not have a soap box.
On to the game, basically when you play a josh layton team you know a couple of things:
There are going to have two first round picks ( somehow some way)
a Bunch of try hards
and every league game is treated like its the World championships
Which means youre gonna be ran to death and rules’d to death: Every point, every 50 50 ball, every minor rules infraction… you might has well take out a notepad and be ready to be villified as either an idiot, or a cheater…. SO you gotta be on your best game, because literally nothing is for free… and what sucks even more, if Josh invokes a rule chances are he’s right.. .and youre just making yourself look like a: 1) cheater or 2) an idiot.
We show up the the field and White doesnt even have a full team… rather than stall they figure why not YOLO the hell out of it and see what happens, they win two flips in a row and pick Jersey (not white) and (offense) thank God we at least got to pick side, which basically meant we were gonna have the upper hand in an otherwise windy day.
For what its worth, it honestly never felt like White was down a lady or down a Towering Frisbee Monster that is one Will Ford, who decided his Sundays are better spent doing something like hunting, shooting for a magazine cover, or quilting…. and I dont blame him. As for playing down a lady the entire game, The extra man gets relatively lost in the zone and in the wind…. I wish I could say I had the throws, but not even Adub or Fletcher had what it took, both quickly turning over the disc on consevutive upwind points. Fortunately Layton has a cannon and boosted 2 maybe 3 downwind flicks out the back of the endzone or outta reach of a recievers grasping hand. ON SERVE probably 3-3 or something like that…. going for vibes people… not facts
Somewhere there after Royal has an ill fated turn or two which white, with its steady AF handler core of Schimmel, Layton, and Colverson walked the disc cooly and calmly up the field with, give or take a 100 or 200 throws…. yes…. it was as sickening, tiring, and boring as hell as you’d imagine…. but ladies and gents thats how games are won, hearts are broken, and a legend establishes a legacy.
Fast forward a few points (Somewhere right before half) Royal throws its top line out for 2 or 3 straight points and are unable to yield a halftime lead against an undermanned and under ladied team… and I am underwhelmed with Royals effort so far. The only undefeated team in league should be trouncing these Snowflakes (oooh a good name for white?!!?!?!) and welp… as they say “wind is the great equalizer”. WHITE 8-7 HALFTIME LEAD
Royal gathered the troops together, and to be honest were relatively confident, calm, and in high spirits. It is rumored that Adub came into the huddle and said some encouraging words about “we got this” “easy win”… which is hard to believe because at this point in a game, he’s usually throwing a hat or cursing under his breath like Joe Pesci. Brandon said something about beards and Loreal really does wonders for his long locks in the wind. Joaquin screamed “Dangerous play” about 15 million times, and then downed a few swigs of Adubs Whiskey stash, for moments like this (to be honest not totally sure if he knew what he was yelling, but i liked the intensity)….
More whiskey…. just to take the edge off (Jim Bean)… i feel like that should be a catch phrase or slogan
the game literally is a slugfest the rest of the way through…tons of doinks, bad throws, faces in dirt, bad calls, argued calls, more calls, and a broken leg (I swear I am SO SORRY… for what its worth I couldnt walk on Monday from the bruise on my knee)… Also wish i could blame getting roasted by Colverson on this knee thing, but pretty sure i got roasted before that… and probably after that.
its something like 8-8, 9-9 but we’ve played long enough to squeeze in 2 whole games and then some. Every other league game is finished, Darnell is already sippin on his third bourbon on the rocks and at least 5 or 6 cigarrettes deep…. and all eyes are on the ugliest game you’d ever seen.
another 3 hours go by and someone (Fletcher) says something about “how much you wanna bet Layton says something about cap?”… and I was just about to lose a dollar when Jeff blew horn. Its 10 10. Joe Fluery has called “hockey”… i mean “injury” like 3 times, because he was guarding Layton one on one for like 10 minutes and just as many turnovers… I think a little part of him died each time he saw the disc hit the ground after a full field huck.
Enter sandman, Universe Point. Josh Layton’s White Squad with disc and the wind at their backs. There’s no way they mess this up? right? I dont remember much about Universe point but 4 throws….. 1) Colverson’s sweet gift of a huck just outta bounds to a streaking Layton guarded closely by Joel (steal of the draft… yes even as a 1st rounder) Buenrostro…. seriously the part of me that self loathes and believed with all my heart there’s no way they mess up this badly on such an easy point, was allowed to hope… if only just for about 3.4 seconds
which brings me to my next throw
2) I immediately throw all caution to the wind…figuratively and literally…. and turn it over… 4 seconds possession in the only ADUB way I could. ON THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, WRITE HOME TO YOUR MOTHER, DAY DREAM ABOUT CATCHING, upwind full field IO flick to a streaking Fletcher vs Colverson matchup that has me salivating like a fat kid with two ballpark franks just sizzling in his hands…. only to watch Fletcher jump over Colverson to assert dominance, doink the disc down to Colversons waist so that he can get the D…
2.1) Theres no way they mess this up again
They did…. twice more, insert a Sick Hammer D by Bowlin, another turn by Adub… and FINALLY another gorgeous upwind huck to an unguarded Lauren (Philly Special) who catches it and proceeds to play give and go with Tom Brown for the game winning score. Game over (thank god) Royal 11-10
Highlights:
– Lauren crushed the stat board 3 scores and 2 assists! Michaela’s early D while double teaming Laton was inspiring!
– Alethia played incredible D and had great up field cuts. Steve and Tom both played consistent excellent offense.
-Joe’s sweet grab and assist to Michaela was sooo good…while playing with a broken thumb. I’d also like to count Jack’s D. Honestly as a whole I love how hard this team works on defense. It’s incredible to play with a team who sees the value of intense defense.
– Shoutout to Lauren Economou Weisberg and Steve Weisberg for successfully completing a honey pass for a score!!
**edited… no Adub this is not called a ‘boner pass’
– Joe lock down D on Josh for a few points. Joel and Adub give and go for scores.
– Brandon’s clutch D on universe…. when everyones soul wanted to escape out of there chest… you sir… never blinked nor fainted
-Joaquin randomly screaming out rules infractions… though it was probably less inspiring to White, I for one relished in the irony of it
-Jenny’s sick D as the right side of the cup to clutch one of the few upwind breaks necessary to get the W